“The great theme is not Romeo and Juliet… The great theme we all share is that of becoming ourselves, of overcoming our father and mother, of assuming our identities somehow.”
-from Anne’s early introduction for “The Double Image”
I’m reading Anne Sexton’s biography which is really a compilation of letters she wrote to people and then excerpts of story explaining what she was going on about in those letters. It really is a touching piece of work. I’m beginning to think it’s OK to be a bit of a lune when you’re a writer. At least Anne wasn’t ashamed to be in her work. Well, I’m not crazy. But I definitely see blotches of myself showing up all over Anne’s life. I guess what I mean is that I understand why she would be manic depressive, how she could easily forget that she had children and as a consequence have them taken away. Most of all I think I understand how much she truly needed her husband and later told him she had exchanged that needyness for what she thought it was in the first place, love. You see what I’ve discovered is that Anne’s writing is not brilliant because she was crazy. It was brilliant because she was honest.
Often I wonder if people can see the honesty in my writing because its buried under all the mess of me. But I’ve learned from dear Mrs. Sexton that even the craziest of all the writers will find the better parts of their writting bubbling to the top of the brew after a well committed time of plain ol’ practice. Like the froth on the top of a soda, a beer, or unpasterized milk, the truth will always be richest, lightest, and come forth at just the right time.
I’ve often tried to hide my true emotions from my writing. I’ve tried to control the writing because it has the power to control me. But I think I’ve been hiding under the covers thinking a demon was upon me when really the beast on the other side of the covers was not a villian but a hero. Words saved Anne. And I think I’m going to come out and let them save me.
